Why I think I am an Aspie

I am waiting for my GP to call me back and hopefully give me a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Meanwhile I have done a lit of reasons why I think I have got Asperger syndrome. I can’t wait to have a proper diagnosis.

 

–          I have no sleeping patterns (no regular time, length of sleep)

–          I am often late

–          I hate rules and authority especially when not explained nor justified

–          I have very focused centre of interest like sex, sex work, and politics

–          I am obsessed with sex work activism

–          I am not tidy (but I am clean)

–          I was bullied as a child

–          Many people think I am rude and lacking empathy or sensitivity

–          I don’t like going out at parties except to find sex or do drugs

–          I struggle to go shopping and always buy the same things and very few items

–          I feel disorganised and in procrastination

–          I miss my flights or trains

–          I struggle with relationships

–          People can take advantage of me

–          I forgive very easily

–          I know many people but I have few friends and little contact with my family

–          I can’t do small talk

–          I can feel sometimes depressed, especially at winter

–          I hate the noise of police cars

–          I like very stereotypical expressions of gender identities: macho men and feminine women or drag queens and butch dykes

–          I can perform a chav or a drag queen

–          I often wear the same kind of clothes: trackies and sportswear

–          I will do certain things only when I really need to, and won’t prioritise them properly

–          I am very good at remembering dates or historic details

–          I don’t like having to take appointments, queuing and waiting

–          I don’t like talking on the phone which can put off my clients

–          I often walk along the platform when I wait for my train

–          I walk very fast

–          I feel like I am always thinking and can’t stop

–          I struggle to fall asleep if I am not tired and can’t wake up if I am still sleepy and tired

–          I don’t feel shy but I don’t like social situations where I have nothing to do, don’t know people and feel I have to pretend being nice and polite or having to do things which appear pointless

–          I like to be the centre of attention with my friends and don’t necessarily realise when people can feel bothered as a result

–          I am very literal and don’t really appreciate sarcasm or don’t find funny some types of humour

–          I feel that I can’t guess people’s feelings unless they tell me

–          I feel I don’t realise when I cause wrong to someone

–          I feel I can’t project myself in the future

–          I like men who are protective and reassuring

–          I am not good at job interviews, but quite good when I really know my subject and can talk a lot about it

–          I am a bit scared of children

–          I never lie and often take the risk to tell the truth to people who won’t like it

–          I can’t steal things

–          I am clumsy, I can’t cook

–          I don’t like collective sports but can be good at individual ones (climbing, dance)

–          I don’t like going to the gym when it’s too busy

–          I don’t look people in the eyes except maybe my feminist professors who I admire

–          I can take things very seriously even when I watch a film or read a book. I am too scared to watch horror movies and tend to cry with sad stories

–          When I am happy I sing and dance and my friend Vera says I sing very well

–          I am good at having sex with men but I am not good at knowing when they want more than sex

–          I played often on my own as a child

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About Thierry Schaffauser

Queer, sex worker, drugs user, student in Gender History, GMB trade unionist, migrant, wants to change the world, etc
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3 Responses to Why I think I am an Aspie

  1. Jewel says:

    Thierry,

    You probably won’t recall me, I met you at Crossroads centre at ECP event in May. This is irrelevant, however. What I wanted to say was that you listed 49 reasons here. 25 of them I share with you (can’t cook, can’t stand police sirens and social events where I have nothing to do, very disorganised, depressed in winter, procrastinate on Olympic level, was solitary as a child, can’t project myself in the future, etc), 10 of your reasons I can’t share with you because I’m not a man and they CAN BE called typical for men (shopping issues, dressing up issues, lack of empathy, not being able to tell when your partner wants what, etc), 5 of them are typical sex work issues (problems with sleep and rules/ authority – we’re an independent bunch and we work all hours of day and night, at some point your biological clock just gives up) and 3 reasons are just plain human (who likes going to the gym when it’s busy?) so frankly, I don’t think you should be worried. We’re all different and there’s no-one quite like you out there, that’s the beauty of being human.

  2. Paul says:

    Hello Thierry, hope your GP was really helpful. If you have any problems getting referred to the right NHS specialist or you need to talk to someone then the National Autistic Society have a freephone helpline which is 0808 800 4104 and they will be able to give information and advice about this. Take care, and good luck!

  3. Thanks for your comments. I hope to see a specialist soon and we’ll see if a diagnostic can be confirmed.

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